How to Bargain

As I walked in the house, after coming home from classes, I heard a bustle of laughing voices.  Everyone was sitting at the table, finishing lunch (at 1:30) and having a ridiculously funny conversation.  They were 'bargaining' with mom and each other for different things.

Connor looked at mom and said, "I'll sell you a Berkey Water Filter for $1,000."

Mom staggered at the price (which made everybody laugh) and said, "How about $10?"

"Fifty dollars!"

Mom reluctantly answered, "Ok, fifty dollars."

Caleb jumped in and said, "I'm selling you a trampoline for $250."

Mom just laughed and said, "I don't want a trampoline!  I'm not interested."  (At which everybody laughed.)

"Caleb," I said, "Sell mom some 100% Pure mascara."

"Ok," Caleb said, "I'll sell you some mascara for...$50."  (Everyone burst out laughing.)

"Fifty dollars!?  No way!"

Caleb paused then said, "Ok, how 'bout $20?"

"Ok," mom said with a nod of her head, "I'll buy it for $20."

Then, I (not wanting to be left out the conversation) said, "Mom, I will sell you a completely organic pie made from the fruit from the Garden of Eden for $1,000.  Or you can buy it by the slice for $500 a piece."

"A thousand dollars!" (A great burst of laughter again.)

"Yes, but it's handmade from Adam and Eve with the fruit from the Garden of Eden...but not from the Tree of Good and Evil," I added quickly.

"Oh," mom said understandingly, "So it's made from the most organic organic fruit."

"Yes," I said, "and it can cure any disease and make you completely better."

But mom still was not satisfied, "But, by the time anybody buys it for $1,000 or $500 per piece, it will be spoiled."

"No it won't," I said, "because it's magic and if you put it in the freezer it will stay good forever.  Plus, God told me to sell it."  Then, thinking quickly, I added, "And all the money will go to charity."

"Alright," mom said, finally convinced, "I'll buy it for $1,000."

Then Connor came up with another scenario: "Ok, you have to go to Aunt Lori's house and you lost your car keys.  I'll sell you some car keys for $100."

"One hundred dollars!  I'll take my husband's car," mom said, gasping.  (Another outburst of laughter.)

"Ok, you don't have your husband's car and you only have one van."  Connor then lowered the price to $75.

"How about $50?"

"$75."

"Sixty dollars?"

"$75."

"Sixty-one?"

"$75."  Everyone was laughing so hard by now and coming up with different scenarios that Connor finally lowered the price to $60.  It was an extremely funny conversation.  There were many different stories of trying to sell mom stuff, but as this post is getting a bit long, I think I'll leave it at that.